Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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