I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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