We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
