hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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