My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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