I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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