hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
