there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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