I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
