I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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