I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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