My nipple is on Facebook.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
