i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
