i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
