so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
