Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
