Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize