Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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