Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
