yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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