She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
