It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
