woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
