I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
