I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize