i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
