i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
