why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
