we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
