I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
