oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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