Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
should my penis look like a turkey
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
