Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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