umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
