He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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