We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
