Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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