I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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