You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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