next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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