highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
