I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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