people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
