Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
