You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Come on in and take your pants off
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