margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
youre lurking in front of me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
