i barfeds in our rink
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
