Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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