Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
