OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
