Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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