next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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