I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
