Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
