I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
