I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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