well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
