i just had sex bonerless
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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