dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
