Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
