hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
