Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my poor anus
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
